After the rehearsal my nerves were feeling much calmer. I mean, I have not been in a wedding party for 25 years or so, and I have never been in a Jewish wedding. Don’t get me wrong with that statement, Susan and Gordon are two of my best friends, I am not slamming by saying “Jewish” wedding. Let’s face it though, I am from the Appalachian Mountains there was not a lot of Jewish tradition taught to me. SO, the traditions and the customs are all going to be new and different. I spent 2 hours a few nights before the wedding with one of my friends teaching me about the customs and what would happen at the wedding, that helped.
After the rehearsal dinner Susan asked me to go with her and Gordon and family to meet with family at the hotel lobby were they were staying. I have to tell you I was quite honored to be asked. I looked around and realized everyone in the room was a blood relative of either Susan or Gordon, and then me LOL. I love being their family.
It was much like any other family gathering I have been too. We all sat around and drank coffee and laughed and told stories of “back in the day”… I sort of cringed though when Susan asked me to tell a story. She asked me to tell the story of how my WASBAND(well believe it not I was married to him) found Jesus!!
I wasn’t sure how this story would be taken, although it IS true and very funny. My voice started out low and Betty said SPEAK UP.. oh my… So I told them how I had decided I was leaving my husband several years ago, it was quite an abusive and controlling relationship so I could not just announce “Oh, by the way Bubba I am leaving you and getting a divorce on July 28th”. SO I had to stick out the months of April, May, June and most of July, acting the part of the “wifey”.
Of course he sensed something was just not “right” as I did not jump quite to fast when he snapped, nor did I say how high. I had made arrangements to visit Dollywood in the Spring. I knew it would be hard for me to just drop in Dollywood, once I moved to Florida. I was going to the park, to drive around the country, to Cherokee, the Smoky Mountains, and to see Dolly in the Parades. Nothing else would do Bubba but to delare his LOVE and go with me.
I was thinking to myself PUHHLEEZE…. whatever!
At the end of this vacation there was a stop in a tattoo parlor, Bubba loved tattoos!!! He was getting an old one covered when he got the bright idea to have a photo of my face tattooed on his arm. I already knew I was leaving…The look on his face… I told him ahhh maybe you shouldn’t do that, I mean really. It’s a bad idea to have anyone’s name and face tattooed on your body…he didn’t listen! He said, if we get divorced I will turn it into a bulldog. Meaning he would cover the tattoo of me will a bulldog LOL.
As he pulled out a photo of me with a pink headband in my hair and told the skin artist since my hair is blonde and wont show on skin make it black and white and leave my eyes blue!! Oy, vey!
So, I sat and watched..knowing I was leaving in July, but not daring to tell him.
So, fast forward. I did leave on July 28, just as planned. On Sunday evening July 30th, he realized I was gone and went ballistic looking for me. Call it slowed senses, but you know I never was part of his weekend party plan lol. The following weekend he moved in Karla, who did not really like the photo of my blue eyes on Bubba’s forearm. Off once more to the tattoo shop. The only thing the artist could do with my long hair, and headband was cover my face with a tattoo of Jesus’s face, with a crown of thorns in place of my headband.
Now, it was a well known fact, anytime I tried to leave my wasband before, he would come to me with a story, always soooo sorry. He was going to do better and would always say he had found Jesus and was going to be good this time. So there is some irony in him and his tattoo, because in a sense, when I left he did find Jesus. Only he found him in a Tattoo shop and had him inked on his arm.
The entire room filled with Susan and GOrdons family rolled laughing.
I think we also laughed about wedding rehearsals and I said, boy there was nothing to prepare me for what my marriage was like, and if I had of gotten a rehearsal I would have said NO.
But, the truth is. I knew when I met him. Going back I can’t figure it out. Did I marry him because I thought I deserved that bad treatment? Because I thought I could love him enough to change him? I am still working on understanding that lol. Fact is, I can’t change the choice I made. I can said I failed at picking a good husband all day long, and fact is I did! I can say I failed at keeping the marriage together or making it work all day long. Fact is, I did fail at that too, but that seemed an impossible task. And… I also learned so many valuable lessons and become such a strong person because of those lessons… Yesterdays failures have made me who I am today.. So my new focus is to just look in the mirror each day and love me and be kind to me.
In the mean time, I love wonderful friends like Susan and Gordon who inspire me. They are what true love is all about and I am glad they are in my life..