Even if they told me in my pre-op classes I didn’t hear or I didn’t listen…Part TWO..
Let me begin with this post with gratitude.. I am thankful for my Surgeon Dr. Robert Shin in Charleston WV. His skilled and gifted hands preformed a life saving surgery that changed my life. All the issues that followed my surgery were certainly not his fault nor his staffs. This is all things that I had to deal with because of choices I made in my journey. I did the best I could at the time. Sharing is not intended to scare anyone from surgery. It is more to give a general awareness of some of the situations that can occur. I don’t view them as problems, just situations.
One week into the surgery… Since I am a nurse let me explain the assessment of me…
1. Dehydrated getting in about 20 ounces of water a day, sleeping a lot, depending on Liquid Lortab to relieve the pain.
2. Grieving the Loss of Food Crying a LOT… Missing the soothing, numbing effects of ice cream and Raisin Bran Crunch at bedtime.
3. In Pain… both physical from the infected wound on abdomen and emotionally from the emotional stress of rapid weight loss in combination with grieving.
4. Becoming very aware of my food addiction as I sucked on a Frito Corn Chip at Lunch!
5. Still Obese…Trying to put in perspective how I could have convinced myself I would wake up slim with all the issues in life resolved.
An aha moment… My addiction to sugar… Sugar makes almost anything sweet. Coffee. Tea. Milk. Lemons. Cereal. Oatmeal. and yes I was using it to attempt to sweeten my life.
Now, I can safely say having an awareness was my first line of ever hoping to heal.
My friend Bani worked with me as a Home Health Nurse. She grew up in India and had some really awesome recipes for soups that heal the mind-body and soul… When she came by to check on me, she brought love in a bowl and she packed my wound with dakins solution and gauze. She would listen and I told her my feelings and how I mourned food. She didn’t tell me what I “should” do she just listened as I talked about my feelings about this surgery.
It felt like I has surges of energy that were like electricity, like my body was on fire. At one week post op, I still wanted to give the surgery back. Now, looking back I can safely say, I am glad there was a no return policy. But as I listen to post ops who are in these stages talk about their experiences, I have love and compassion. We often think surgery will just fix everything… IMMEDIATELY..
How often I looked in my mirror and saw myself as a failure! The good thing is I was just strengthening my muscles that would eventually lift me up…as I began to soar…
“Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful.”