Even if they told me in my pre-op classes I didn’t hear or I didn’t listen…Part TWO..
Let me begin with this post with gratitude.. I am thankful for my Surgeon Dr. Robert Shin in Charleston WV. His skilled and gifted hands preformed a life saving surgery that changed my life. All the issues that followed my surgery were certainly not his fault nor his staffs. This is all things that I had to deal with because of choices I made in my journey. I did the best I could at the time. Sharing is not intended to scare anyone from surgery. It is more to give a general awareness of some of the situations that can occur. I don’t view them as problems, just situations.
One week into the surgery… Since I am a nurse let me explain the assessment of me…
1. Dehydrated getting in about 20 ounces of water a day, sleeping a lot, depending on Liquid Lortab to relieve the pain.
2. Grieving the Loss of Food Crying a LOT… Missing the soothing, numbing effects of ice cream and Raisin Bran Crunch at bedtime.
3. In Pain… both physical from the infected wound on abdomen and emotionally from the emotional stress of rapid weight loss in combination with grieving.
4. Becoming very aware of my food addiction as I sucked on a Frito Corn Chip at Lunch!
5. Still Obese…Trying to put in perspective how I could have convinced myself I would wake up slim with all the issues in life resolved.
An aha moment… My addiction to sugar… Sugar makes almost anything sweet. Coffee. Tea. Milk. Lemons. Cereal. Oatmeal. and yes I was using it to attempt to sweeten my life.
Now, I can safely say having an awareness was my first line of ever hoping to heal.
My friend Bani worked with me as a Home Health Nurse. She grew up in India and had some really awesome recipes for soups that heal the mind-body and soul… When she came by to check on me, she brought love in a bowl and she packed my wound with dakins solution and gauze. She would listen and I told her my feelings and how I mourned food. She didn’t tell me what I “should” do she just listened as I talked about my feelings about this surgery.
It felt like I has surges of energy that were like electricity, like my body was on fire. At one week post op, I still wanted to give the surgery back. Now, looking back I can safely say, I am glad there was a no return policy. But as I listen to post ops who are in these stages talk about their experiences, I have love and compassion. We often think surgery will just fix everything… IMMEDIATELY..
How often I looked in my mirror and saw myself as a failure! The good thing is I was just strengthening my muscles that would eventually lift me up…as I began to soar…
Everybody—Shine!!!
“Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful.”
Zig Ziglar
Hugs,
This sounds like ME….right now. I sent a message to you on FB and I wonder if this is your answer. 🙂 I remember feeling betrayed by food. First it was my best friend, then my lover and confidant…then it literally made me sick. I remember feeling like all my food issues should’ve been wiped out with the size of my stomach, too. Thank God for my shrink! Without him before and after surgery, I’d be a bigger mess, pun intended. I’m gaining weight back, which I’m hearing is quite common for a 3 yr. post op.
I have to get back to basics. I don’t want to…I WANT the hugs and the pats on back and the warm fuzzies food used to give me. I’m still mourning a lost love and I wonder if I always will. I will at least until I accept that my relationship with food has changed (yet again). This part isn’t so much fun. The one thing I AM working on is making things I can eat. I LOVE to bake and bake when stressed. Rather than stop doing what I love, I’m morphing it to meet MY needs for a change.
It’s scary out here…but it’s change or die. So I’m choosing change.
Marie
I think the key to handling the post op issues is to be diligent about preparing for post op life before hand. I spent two years researching the surgery and the post op requirement. There were really know surprises for me. I read about the issues others had and did everything I could do to prevent them. I did mourn food but not after surgery. I mourned it during my preop liquid diet and by the time surgery came around, I was ready. I think too many people jump in without knowing what to expect.
Wow very insightful, thank you so much for sharing your journey with everyone 🙂 Love ya
I wasn’t prepared for what my body was going to go through. At 7 years post op sometimes I am still shocked at the surprises sometimes.