This is that time of year that we can reflect on the previous year and hold the memories we need to hold and release what we need to let go. Think about it, do you want to start a new year holding on to thoughts, memories or “things” that do not help you to grow and become stronger?
We are heading into the year 2011, and this is going to be an exciting and challenging time for many of us. How will you face the challenges? Think about it? How will you step up to the plate and face what is coming at you this year?
Each year in December before I start the new year I like to look over my previous year and reflect a bit.
In January I sat with one of my dearest friends and told her, I am not making any resolutions for 2010. Instead of making a resolution that I could possibly break early in the game, I am making a conscious choice to see the world through different eyes. My friend leaned back in her chair and said “Well that’s a mighty big resolution”. She gets points for her honesty and for her walking the path with me no matter what turns I made. I believe good friends who listen without trying to fix you are priceless. I am going to be honest, I had no idea how hard a job it would be to see the world in a different light! I am thankful for the courage, and the strength I had to face this task.
In February I spent Valentines Day with one of my friends and I realized that sometimes the places that used to be familiar to us grow distant. I realized I was holding onto something that no longer existed, making it more of a memory or a maybe fantasy. Holding on was hurting me and stopping my growth and realizing my own potential. For awhile I was angry and resentful of this discovery but very quickly opened up the new eyes I was seeing life through, and realized, I was thankful for the experience, and the opportunities to grow and learn. Later in this month I went to see the Dalai Lama, as he walked upon the stage I felt chill bumps and the hair on my arms stand up. There was a flow of energy that went through my soul and I recognized what an amazing being he is. I also realized for me to recognize that in him, it was also in me. The peace and light that shines in him, is also in me.
In March I started to venture out of my comfort zone. Start going to different places that I wanted to go and low and behold there was an entire world of people out there for me to meet. I learned that I didn’t know everything(still plenty for me to learn) and there was so many adventures out there waiting for me. I started having crazy ideas like maybe I would like to someday go back to Mexico, and maybe someday I could write my own eat, pray, love book. Because lets face it, I have a lot of stuff I would love to share…
In April I broke all of my self imposed rules, well maybe not all, but a bunch of them. I went camping with a group of friends that I had recently met and had a blast. I learned a LOT about me. For once in my life I was playing with fire, but not getting burned and not burning anyone else for that matter…I can honestly say I was beginning to come alive.
In May, many thought I was having a midlife crisis (I tried to explain I am going to live to 108 and I am not mid life just yet)… I quit my job after having a couple of other offers and I took couple of weeks off to think. I started working a sales position and went to California for an OH conference. It was such a wonderful experience. I sat in the lobby of the Hilton in Costa Mesa hearing a million voices in my head telling me I could not drive in California… but my own inner voice was much louder as I had the concierge call Avis to bring me a car. They came quickly with a Ford Focus and it was such serenity as I drove along US Pacific HWY 1 taking in the California view. I realized I am not a child, and that I can make my own decisions, and do the things I like and want to do. I also realized I can drive quite well in California. May was also the month my youngest daughter turned 18 and graduated high school. It was time for the mama bird to learn to fly.
June was a busy month for me, I only spent 6 days out of the entire month at home. I was in West Virginia, Ohio, North Carolina and Nevada. I guess I took it literally when I said it was time for me to fly! What stood out the most about this month was a trip I took to North Carolina. In 11 days I climbed several mountains, and each time I thought surely I was going to die. However, each time I made it and felt renewed when I got to the top. I realized life had been patiently waiting for me.I left North Carolina and flew into Las Vegas, and realized the city life isn’t all its cracked up to be. I will take the sparkle of the sun reflecting off the lake any day over those bright city lights.
July… I turned 40. I started asking myself some questions like.. What is my life purpose? What makes me happy? What brings joy to my life? What is my passion? I gave it a lot of thought. I started a quest to figure out who I am, no really who I really am. I realized it’s ok to be me, and stop trying to be what “I think” others might expect of me..
August…. Another month of self discovery, and I started classes. I want to learn and grow and be all that I can be. I am thankful for every opportunity to move ahead. I loved being back in school. Traveling was getting to be more and more and I was beginning to realize how much I really appreciated quiet evenings with a book. A new friendship was beginning to blossom and I realized it is funny how life works. The people we think we could never be friends with because of life circumstances… turns out to be a great friendship. One day at a time with no expectations…
September This would mark my 7 year surgiversary. On September 11, 2003 I had my bariatric surgery and it has led me here. I have to really sit back and think about this. Not too long ago one of my friends said to me if I had of gotten away from the negativity in my life back then I might have been able to lose the weight without surgery. I have to say at first I thought she has lost her mind, but then I thought some more on the subject. I had lost the weight many times, but only to gain more weight in return. I realize now, I was repeating patterns. I have surely grown and evolved since my surgery 7 years ago. I did what I had to do at the time to get me through, and one thing for certain the fact that I altered the natural state of my body, will give me incentive to be well and take care of my body.
October came and once again after only months I found myself not working. My short experience with Celebrate Vitamins had come to an end. I am thankful for the experiences I had while I was working there. I put a lot of my focus on my classes and school work and life went on.
November A month of great discovery for me. I spent sometime with close friends and worked very hard on my classes and honestly on my self growth and being the best I could be. A couple of times I realized how NOT perfect I am, and how NOT perfect my life is… but I also realize my life is perfectly what I need at any given moment. The thing about it is I am learning to take each moment to grow closer to God. This year at Thanksgiving I realized how much I have to be thankful for, and how much God has always given me. I have been blessed with heath, and abundance all my life and I am truly thankful.
December.. It is flying by and Christmas is already gone. I am looking forward to a peaceful new year filled with love and peace. I talked to my good friend today, and I told her that this would be another year of not making resolutions for me. I told her I was seeing things quite differently these days and that I am spending my efforts to shine in the new year..
How about you??