When I posted the photo of the number on my scale Jan. 1, it started the ball rolling for interesting email questions. They got my brain to thinking. So here I am going to to a bit of a Q & A with some of them.
“Will you be having a revision to help you lose the weight?” No, I have no intentions of having any more bariatric surgery. My scale showed 171.6 pounds. My heaviest weight was around 385, so if I never lose another pound I am thankful to be where I am. Still over 200 pounds smaller than I was at my largest. It is not really my size that bothers me, it is my health. The lack of exercise and the extra amount of weight causes me to not feel well. If I would have caught my weight coming up the scale the first time at 171.6 and done something I may of gotten by without surgery. I didn’t, but this time I did. I am going back to basics. Eating healthy foods, getting my protein in, drinking water, and exercising and it will all fall into place.
“How did you let yourself gain that much weight, you are a professional in the “spotlight”? Thank you for asking! Seriously though do you think that grants me an immunity? I am human just like each and everyone of you that have had surgery. I could look at this in denial and pretend it didn’t happen. That is like putting my head in the sand, when you bury your head in the sand it leaves your butt in the air to get hit by the hurricane that is coming. That could get ugly. Now, the thing about being on my knees is that it gives me the opportunity to stand up and face my reality and fight back. I take responsibility for the weight gain, and I will take the responsibility for staying focused and losing it again.It has been a reality check for me. Look, just because some of us blog or work in the bariatric field does not mean we are not human. Life happens, and we get stuck in it sometimes. We blog because it gives us a space to put our thoughts and feelings down and in the process it provides a place where others can see the real life successes and struggles of bariatric surgery.
“Will your surgery still work or will you diet to lose the weight?” Oh that is a great question. I imagine at 7 years post op, my surgery tool is still there. Like many tools we put in the tool shed and neglect I am sure mine is a bit rusty. The tool is still there and may not work like it did when I first had surgery but yes, it works. When I eat too much, it hurts, when I eat too fast it hurts. When I eat sugar I dump. Now, for me it’s just a matter of getting back on track. Diets failed me before surgery too many times. I do imagine the weight loss will not be as fast and furious as when I had surgery but thats ok too. One day at the time.
“Would you have surgery again if you had that decision to do over?” That is a question I never expected. It did cause me to stop and think. At the time of my surgery, I had lost and gained so many times and felt like a failure. I was in an abusive marriage, and my life was so negative. I made the choice based on those factors, I wanted to live, I wanted to feel good. Each life choice got me where I am today. This IS something I discussed often in therapy though. My therapist has often suggested if I could have removed the negativity, the bad relationship ect. I probably could have lost the weight. Well, it’s true, but I could not see that then. So, yes I would have still had the surgery if I had the moment to do over.
“Doesn’t this regain scare you?” I am not sure if scare is the right word. It is alarming yes. Fear is not a productive emotion, fear will cause reaction instead of action. I am stepping up to the plate and taking action. This will include readjusting my sails and looking at my food intake, my exercise and my lifestyle. Let’s go.
By the way, today is one week since the weigh in and I weighed in this morning at 169!!! Life is great!