June 10, 2011
Sharing day 2 of my holistic approach to my bariatric life. MIND BODY AND SPIRIT
One of the things I am doing in this process is clearing my mind of the clutter and heavy feelings and thoughts I have been carrying. People can say what they want, but I firmly believe when we carry old negative patterns and thoughts with us, it makes us heavy hearted and that manifests in our weight. I have been journaling and writing about feelings and thoughts for sometime now. Now in this blog but in my own personal journal.
One of the things I learned early was rather than carry anger and hurt or resentment for a PERSON, I write a “write, vomit letter” and boy I have written some of those this past little bit. The way this works is you take the person who you are carrying these feelings for and you write how you feel about what they did to you. Get it all out and say all you need to say and have been carrying. If you feel like you want to punch them in the nose, say that. Say what you truly feel. Don’t go back and re-read it just make sure you got it ALL out.
Then take a deep cleansing breath and burn the letter, NO WISHING bad stuff or no resentment now..Just watch it burn and go up in smoke. If you can do this it will amazingly release so much anger and resentment.
Today I sit out at the water and did meditation and I relaxed a little as I reflected on things and where I am going with my life and my career. I am learning to slow down and process life as it comes at me rather than build up more and more. I am dealing with one thing at a time and working my way through life and I feel like everything is coming together. I took a little walk.
Today I had dinner with a very good friend of mine. Christine. I met Christine when I was working at a Bariatric store in Pompano Beach, most of you know I worked for Bariatric Eating, and I made many connections there and formed friendships that are amazing. I can honestly say that some of my happier times where working in that protein show room and talking with people about their surgery, talking through their fears, listening to them as they realized their goals. It was a very rewarding thing to spend a half hour with a client and see them leave feeling as if their energy had shifted and they could feel the confidence to overcome their battle of obesity.
Christine’s fiance had the surgery before her and over our dinner date we laughed at the differences in men and women post op. Christine said some things to me that stopped me and floored me right there in the midst of my extra spicey red curry tofu dinner. She said that first of all no one had really informed her of what she would experience with her surgery and what to be aware of after her surgery, that coming to the support group that I spoke at opened her eyes up to that. She also told me a memory she has of me that sticks out to her, she said she was in the store one day buying her bariatric supplies and she said she really wanted “X product” and I cant really say for sure what the product was because I sort of just was amazed at what I was hearing her say… She said she really wanted “X product” but its expensive and “he” wont let me buy that.
I sort of think she was talking about Believe because she loves it, but I am not positive, and anyhow I just took a deep breath at this point.
THen she said I looked at her and said, something to the effect of how she was buying these products for her health, and what a difference it would make in how she feels and her journey.
Honestly, I can see myself the little sassy blond with the “Dolly Parton accent” saying this to her. I preach a pretty serious sermon when you light my fire. I am huge advocate for those struggling with obesity and I am a huge advocate for women. Christine said she just looked at me that day and thought “Who the Hell is She?”
Honestly that is what I am asking myself lately…“Who the Hell AM I?”
The funny part about this story as it applies to Christine, is that it has been over 2 years now that I said that to her in the store.. and she is still going to the store buying whatever it is that “HE” would not let her buy… She is still with HIM and they are getting happily married, and I LOVE THEM both…are you seeing any irony? Can you see how we sometimes build our own roadblocks? It wasn’t HE who wasn’t letting her buy what she wanted for her weightloss, it was SHE….
The day Christine came to pick me up for our “dinner date” she saw 2 red tail hawks near the school that I attend. I am very symbolic and can see something amazing out of things most people take dont even think about. I can symbolically see those two red tail hawks as Christine and I… it may not always seem like it but by Golly Miss Dolly we are flying high…