June 11, 2011
Day 3 of living my bariatric life in a holistic manner, and each day is getting easier. Today I decided to it was time for my vampire butt to get out of the neighborhood and into the real world. I have to admit, I did not realize how depressed I had become. Eating the wrong foods and hiding in my room was leaving me with no color in my world. So today when Beca said I am going to the pool if you want to go, I jumped on board the sunshine express.
First let me tell you, putting the bathing suit and going out in public wasn’t as bad as I imagined. Oh sure there was plenty of opportunity to beat myself up, I mean I was with Beca who is 10 years younger than me and at her smallest weight of 132. Don’t get me wrong here, she never ever rubs it in my face that I have gained weight, nor does she make any remarks and I can say without doubt I am not jealous of her success, and if anything I applaud her keeping her weight off. Its MYSELF I have to watch and keep from beating me up. So my spirit exercise today to boost my spirit was to respect myself and not only treat others with the love and respect that I want to be treated in, but to also show that same love and respect to me.
On the way home from the pool the song came on She’s a Wild One Running Free, an woman child with an angel face. I found myself with my arms and feet out the window of the Mustang. (Yes Bernadette, I know you taught us NOT to do this in Ergonomics class, and your description of arms being ripped off made me sick, but I so needed to fly today)
Well there is the exercise of being in the water(this is about as much as I can muster up for now) , but beyond that today, Mya brought her Barbie to the pool. It sure reminded me of growing up with Barbies in my toybox. What an unrealistic expectation to place on little girls. I don’t recall ever wanting to be like Barbie when I was growing up. Then again my barbie spent most of her days with fuzzy matted hair and her head torn off. Oh and dear mom, I know you thought I was being evil and doing voodoo when I stuck all those needles in my Barbie. I have since discovered I was really right on track with my life purpose and it acupunture I was preforming. My soul knew even then that I wanted to study Eastern Philosphy Meds and I thought I could Sure Barbies Insecurities and anorexia. 🙂
My mind exercise today has been in the form of studying A&P. I have a big test coming up next week and massage therapy classes aren’t as easy as one would assume. My energy is being put into studying and learning so my hands will be able to do my hearts work…
My food for this day
Click Protein Espresso Drink
Isogenic Creamy Vanilla Protein drink
A bowl of Kichari
A Inspire Dutch Chocolate Cake Protein drink made warm
One thing I know for sure… Life is a gift… a prescious gift.. I am unwrapping it with love and gratitude.