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Posts Tagged ‘Tuesday Tea Talk, It’s Therapy’


At seven years post op from gastric bypass, there are times when I wake up and forget that I have had surgery. I have worked through so many of my life issues and just want to live a normal life. Don’t get me wrong, I will never forget where I came from with my struggles with obesity. It just seems like for me these days my life is more about living, experiencing, doing and being rather than worry about what my next meal is going to be. Does that make sense at all?

Today is Saturday and that is my weekly bead circle day. Back home in WV we had quilting circles, I don’t think I could put together a quilt with thread if I was freezing. But I would make you a beautiful necklace in trade for a quilt *smile*. My bead family is wonderful. We laugh and share life stories and all the while we are creating beautiful pieces of jewelry filled with love.

My beautiful friend Francine and I!

 

Today I sat at the table with my friends Francine and Susan. I have been working on an amulet bag that is very detailed for over a month. 31 four feet strands of fireline on a loom with 30 seed beads on each row.. My first loom project and I chose the most detailed project in the book. I did not chose it because I think I am the BEST beader in the world, I chose it because it reminds me of someone in my life that I am very thankful for. It’s a project that has slowed me down tremendously.

Today as I was beading it Iaccidentally cut one of the cords of fireline. I cried. So much work I have invested in this bag, many hours of not only physical work, but hours of devotion and love has gone into this piece. I cried harder.

I wanted to pick my loom up and throw it.. to crash it into the wall.. I wanted to yell and scream and cuss.  My friends Susan and Francine both hugged me and said not to worry I am with people who loved me and it will be ok.  These two friends of mine have been with me through the entire process of beading this bag. The listened to me talk about it for months before I actually got the loom. Then they have sit with me each Saturday as I add rows of beads to the loom.

You might be reading this thinking how in the world could I get so upset over a beaded amulet bag, right?

Like I said, I put so much of me into the bag, so much of my creativity and my love that to watch that string snap was like cutting me. How often have I talked about how I apply my beading and jewelry making to my “life”?

Today was no different, and I realized there are things in my life “relationships, jobs, education ect…” that I have put so much of myself into, then suddenly that string broke. It reminds me of that Martina McBride song…

You can spend your whole life buildin’
Something from nothin
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn’t always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This worlds gone crazy
And it’s hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all YOUR heart
For all the right reasons
And in a moment they can choose to walk away
love em anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn’t always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yeah I do it anyway, yeah,

You can pour your soul out singin’
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they’ll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yeah sing it anyway, yeah, yeah

I sing
I dream
I love anyway, yeah.

So there I sat crying over a broken fire line! Then it dawned on me..I am blessed… I still have beads, a loom, fireline, creativity and two healthy hands to work with. That is just the beginning, I have so much in my life to be thankful for.   I can start over if I have to, I can begin again. The amazing thing, was realizing this was not about the broken line on my loom at all, it was about  weaving the patterns of my life…. My tears transformed from sadness to cleansing happy tears.

About that time my bead Guru Fin came along and showed me how to add a new line  in, she said she looks at this as getting rid of the old and making way for the new… and that is why she is my bead Guru… There are no problems… only situations… and once again I have overcome a situation and the beading of the amulet bag continues and guess what? So does my life continue. I will walk this path one day at the time, learning and growing each day. It’s amazing how many valuable life lessons I have learned already from beading a amulet bag and from living my life.

Later that day some new beaders came in and asked about the loom work that I was doing. Fin explained to them that looming is deligent, tedious work and that the piece I am making is wide and complicated. She told them that the only reason she agreed to have me begin looming  with this project is that I have the patience of Job.  I also have the ears of a turtle and heard her say that and a nice warm smile came over my face.

I realized the path I have chosen is not easy and it takes lots of courage, strength and dedication. It also takes a lot of willingness to be patient with others, but mostly patient with myself.

At the end of the Beading day... a Smile was on my face.

So in other words… a broken life line does not mean the end of life… just ..  time for change…

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Truth is, I do not know anything for fact. But, I do perceive things in my own way. This is 21 things that I perceive to be so. Remember our perception is our own reality. You may “see” things differently.

I'm as Free as a Bird Now and This Bird You Can Not Change

1. What we put out comes back. It might have to make a big ole loop around the Universe to get back, but it will. Generally by time what you put out goes all the way around the universe, it has accumulated some interest.

2. We define who we are, we create our own lives, sing our own songs, and dance our own dance. We are all unique and maybe inspired by others along the journey ( Yes, I love the words to those Dolly Parton songs) but we are who we are, embrace that. Don’t let anyone sing your song, write your script, or change the moves to your dance. Be free and Celebrate YOU.

3. What other people think of me, is none of my business. When I speak, or write it comes from my heart, this I know. What others think of me, or themselves will reflect the tone in how they perceive my words. That has nothing to do with me, and if I don’t pick up what people reflect to me, I will remain free from the drama. I always thought what others said and did to me was my Karma, but I see it differently now. How I act or react to those things is my Karma, it’s my choice. Someone once said Karma won’t be a bitch if I am not, I understand that now.

4. Whatever someone did to me in the past has no power over my present. It’s always good to look at things and see the lessons there are to be learned. That does not include dwelling on what people have done. The victim card is expired, no need for renewal. We CAN give them that power, its a choice we make.

5. People show you WHO they are, believe it the first time. You can’t change them, and you step off your path when you try. Be the change you want to see in the world, you decide where you put your energy and love.

6. When we worry about things, we waste time and energy. Be a warrior not a worrier. Use the same time and energy for doing something about what worries you.

7. We are what we believe, our words have great power. If we look in the mirror and see ugly, unworthy and bad… well our perception is our reality. What we believe about ourselves and others, is more powerful than our dreams, wishes or hopes.

8. The most powerful prayer we can pray is “Thank you ”

9. When we fail, it’s just a great big sign from the Divine that says go in the other direction my dear child. It’s not the end of the road, instead the beginning of a new path.

10. If we make a decision, or a turn in life that goes against what everyone else thinks we should be or do…. the world will not end, nor will it fall apart. Instead, our wingspan will widen and we will fly.

11. Love yourself first, get to know your inner “dolly” embrace that person inside and sit down and get to know yourself. Then extend that love to others in every encounter.

12. Have passion for what you do. Your career, job or profession will not be “work” if it is driven with passion. You are intelligent figure out how to get paid for doing what you love, the paycheck will then be a bonus.

13. There is no pain in love, the two things can not coexist. Love feels great. 14. Each day is a new day, a new chance.. to start over.

15. The most important, and hardest job on Earth is being a mother. I declare it so, and women around the world declare it with me. It is also the most rewarding job on Earth. Megan and Leesa I love you so, please if you know nothing about your mama, embrace that fact.

16. If there is Doubt.. stop… no reactions… Don’t move, Don’t answer, Don’t rush forward.. Just Be still.

17. When we don’t know what to do, BE still.. the answer will come.

18. Our troubles they too shall pass.

19. The happiness we feel is in direct proportion to the love we give.

20. These are my perceptions, we are all unique you look at the world through your heart and see what you perceive.

21. We should all wear sunscreen. 🙂

Be well, be loved and be love, Teresa~

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